


Let that lonely feeling wash away

by Fangirlshrewt97



Category: Leverage
Genre: Bonding, Comfort, Gen, The others get mentioned, This is just Eliot and Parker talking, but it is only Eliot and Parker in the fic, set sometime in season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlshrewt97/pseuds/Fangirlshrewt97
Summary: “I am not used to this.” Parker started before stopping. She was biting her lip, and tense as a coiled spring ready to bolt. “The other day, I just followed Nate’s plan.”He kept his face carefully blank. “Ok? What is the problem there?”“Eliot, I didn’t make a back up plan!”Ah. Her issues were getting clearer.Or: A normal day brings an unexpected, but not really, revelation.
Relationships: Parker & Eliot Spencer (Leverage)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 56





	Let that lonely feeling wash away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chancy_Lurking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chancy_Lurking/gifts).



> Dearest Chancy,
> 
> I meant to get to you a little earlier in the day. And for it to be a completely different fic. But this is what ended up getting written. Many more happy wishes for the day once again, I really hope you like this fic. 
> 
> Everyone, please let me know what you think in the comments, or at least a kudo if you liked the story. 
> 
> None of these characters belong to me, but I love them dearly and wanted to borrow them for a bit. 
> 
> Thank you,
> 
> Fangirlshrewt97

Eliot felt himself subtly tense up at the sudden change in atmosphere, something new was there in his room. Taking a quiet inhale, Eliot turned off the stove, moving the hotpot to the marble countertop before moving deliberately to the entrance of his kitchen. Counting in his head, he struck out his arm at the count of four and smirked as his prize yelped and squirmed under his unyielding grip.  
  
He dragged his uninvited guest into the kitchen, depositing her on to one of the chairs in his tiny dining table.  
  
" You're lucky I didn't have my knife in my hand Parker" he menaced, advancing to loom over the thief, not that she cared.  
  
"It's Wednesday afternoon," Parker remarked non-chalantly as she leaned back and got comfortable in the hard wooden chair, "this chair sucks".  
  
"It's a solid chair. Also that's not an answer. And it's evening". Eliot said as he moved back to his sink, rolling up his sleeves before starting to wash his dishes.  
  
"It's a valid answer!" Parker protested. "You wouldn't have had a knife with you at this time on a Wednesday because you are making soup and bread to take with you to the local community kitchen and to help out at dinner time".  
  
Eliot paused in his scrubbing of a particular stain on the plate, polishing it till he could see his reflection.

He put the plate on the dish rack, and grabbed the chopping board. Parker did not miss the slowing down of his movements.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Am I getting predictable?" Eliot asked, an almost imperceptible nervousness underlying his question.  
  
Parker regarded the frame of her ... friend. She had known Eliot for almost eight years now and could count the number of times he was genuinely nervous on one hand. The man was unflappable. But that was just a consequence of the life they had chosen wasn't it? No one said being a criminal is easy.  
  
"No, I just know you well."  
  
Eliot huffed, but the line of tension in his shoulders was still there.  
  
Parker unfolded herself from the chair and went to stand by Eliot, awkwardly punching him on the shoulder. "Lighten up Eliot. You're fine."  
  
Social interactions were still taking some getting used to.  
  
Eliot barely reacted to the punch, but paused at her words. “We should move.”

That surprised Parker. “Move? Move where? When? Why?”

“In my line of work predictable means dead Parker.”

“Not necessarily” Parker tried to argue, but it came out weak and unconvincing to her own ears. While surprised, she did understand Eliot’s concerns. They had been in LA for almost 9 months now, the longest the pair of them had stayed anywhere since they started working together as a team. Eliot had never seen where Parker lived, and to be frank was not quite sure whether she even slept all that much, but he had offered her his couch to crash in if she ever needed it. She had never needed it so far. Parker was just trying to figure out what to say when her stomach grumbled loudly. 

“How long since you’ve eaten?” Eliot asked, voice neutral even as she saw him switching to caretaker mode. Hey why look a Eliot in the gift mouth?

“This after-”

“Actual food that is not at least 40% sugar and 40% other crap.” Eliot cut her off with a no nonsense voice. Parker winced.

“The tacos you made for all of us?” Parker said, voice quiet enough Eliot had to strain to hear. She saw his grip tighten on the cutlery in his hand.

“That was two days ago Parker.”

Parker just shrugged. Food was not a big thing for Parker. She was a thief, the best in the world in fact. Before the team, food had just been whatever gave her enough energy to best complete the job. Or tasted the sweetest.

Eliot was changing that. She had had a donut today morning and thought it was too sweet. That had never happened before.

But she wasn’t the only one studying her new friend. Eliot was studying her right back, and knew the best way to confront Parker was to do so at her own pace and by her own choice. Eliot could hold her once he had her, but she was the slipperiest thing he had ever had to catch. “Pick a restaurant kid, your turn, I’ll get them to deliver something for you. Or do you want me to make something?”

“’m not a kid!” Parker protested, pouting as she walking to their living room, trying to ignore the weird feeling in her stomach at Eliot’s offer. Probably a side effect of the hunger. So what if she also got it whenever Hardison complimented her on her skill, or Sophie said she had looked nice that day?

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and picked up the newspaper Eliot actually read. She didn’t get the point of newspapers. She flopped on the couch, in a posture so terrible she was sure Eliot would yell at her for later but what did he know? This was comfortable.

Nothing of interest caught her eye, so she threw that newspaper back onto the table and got another from his pile. She leafed through the pages halfheartedly, the text all blurring into one big block of black text, the pictures just making her grimace. This newspaper went back on the pile, as did the next. And the next.

By the time Eliot came to the living room to check on Parker, having finished all his cooking and cleaning and even changed into an unremarkable outfit that offered him anonymity, the thief was restless. He found her sitting on her ankles, methodically shredding and folding different pieces of paper and seemingly making origami ... somethings. Nothing that resembled anything he could guess the identity of.

“Seriously Parker?”

“Everything is boring Eliot!” Parker whined according to Eliot; frustratingly conveyed according to Parker.

Eliot bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue. If he pushed her too hard she would disappear and who knew when Nate would call them together before he could force her to sit down for a proper meal she would pick at regardless.

“I will be back in two hours. If you can’t decide on take-out, I have leftovers of the soup and bread I made in the kitchen. Or last night’s shepard’s pie and carrot and corn salad in the fridge. Help yourself. You better have eaten by the time I am back or I am forcing you to have brussels sprouts.” Eliot said before putting on his jacket and heading to the door. He stopped right before he closed it, looking back at her. Parker stayed still in her place, face still twisted in a grimace at the thought of brussels sprouts. Eliot grinned at her, but not the type of smile that normal people smiled at Parker. The kind that reminded her why most people were scared of Eliot Spencer. It looked like a shark’s. She liked sharks.

Parker pouted some more as she cleaned up the mess she had made behind, knowing that Eliot would glare at her until she did if the house was not tidy when he came back. Once she finished cleaning the living room back to how she found it, she went back into the kitchen and retrieved the shepard’s pie and salad from the fridge. She rummaged around the drawer for a fork, and having found her target as she waited for the microwave to beep. Retrieving her warmed up meal, she moved to the fire escape outside the kitchen window, where Eliot kept his small herb garden. She settled on the creaky stairs, having moved up them enough to get a view of the street and park outside their apartment building.

The boy and the mom were there, as always, with the mom looking ready to collapse as usual, and the boy yelling and running around with his friends as usual. There was the college student sitting against the tree, doing the last of his reading before the sun set. The old Chinese men playing GO at the old chess tables.

The pie was soft and crumbly, with more vegetable in her one scoop than she had had all day. She scraped another bite off the pie, gathering some of the vegetables as well. Just sitting quietly and watching the city go by, becoming like those ugly monster-creature statues in some of the old churches in Europe. She wasn’t envious of the people at the park. She knew she wasn’t like them. And that was ok. Eliot had told her. Different doesn’t always mean bad. 

It had surprised her how quickly the team had managed to take up a space in her world. She had never thought that she would never work in a team, much less four people who insisted on checking on her and feeding her and making sure she was ok. Well that’s not true. She had just grown so used to being alone. To doing everything on her own, and not relying on anyone. Not since Archie left her to be on her own. Other people were liabilities he had told her. Other people could not be trusted. Other people were slow and heavy, and she needed to be light and quick.

Not the team though. Eliot though. Eliot understood her, understood her better than the others. Parker liked to think it was because they were similar but that wasn’t true. Eliot understood how people worked, he could make himself be normal, make others like him. He could make himself look safe to approach. Normal people never came too close to her, it was as if they could sense she was different. Whatever, that suited Parker just fine. Less people paying attention just made it easier for her to steal.

A distant yell brought her back to herself, and she sat up from where she had slouched to see the boy in the park across was crying and most likely the one who had yelled. He was on the ground and seemed to be yelling because he had fallen of the monkey bars. Amateur. But Parker kept watching as the boy’s mother rushed to the child, hugging him to her chest and rubbing his back as she examined the wound. A few other parents and others circled the pair, another mother offering something that looked like Kleenex maybe?

Parker knew most people would find the scene nice. Hardison would. She thinks. But all she sees when she looks at the scene is a boy who is being coddled. Why didn’t they see it would be better if they just left him alone. What would happen to him when he was by herself the next time he got hurt? It was better if he was alone.

Parker mechanically swallowed the bite she had been chewing and scrapped her fork only to find that she had managed to finish her plate. That explained the full stomach.

That was a lie. It would be worse if he had been alone. Parker knew that. She had just become convinced that no one would be coming anyways, so she could only rely on herself. But the team had been proving her wrong hadn’t they?

Nate looked out for all of them, made sure they were never cornered. In the last job, she hadn’t even scouted the building by herself beforehand, just trusted that Nate would get her out safe.

A pit started forming in her stomach, and her throat felt like it was closing.

Sophie patiently taught her how to read people, to understand who was out to get her, and who were just oblivious and asking out of politeness. Sophie got frustrated with her sometimes when she saw Parker actively choosing or doing the wrong action, but it helped Parker. The new skills could definitely help her talk her way out next time when she was caught alone.

Her breath caught. When?

Eliot never scolded her about anything important. No, not important, anything real. He had never asked her what was wrong with her. Out of the team, Eliot was the one who understood why it was better to be alone.

It was better right?

Then why did she feel like she wanted to cry?

Hardison… Hardison was unlike anyone she had met. He reminded her of a cartoon character, with his energy and over the top dramatic protesting and his magic. He made the world bend to his direction, created doors where there weren’t any, stole more wealth with a few masterful strokes than she could with a week of planning. And yet, he was so kind, he helped old women across the street even though they pinched his cheeks afterward. He bought new toys for the orphanage, and played videogames for hours with the kids in the hospital. He made her feel like she could trust him.

She squeezed her eyes to try and relieve the pressure in her chest. She heard a distant creeking and realized the stairs she was sitting on were shaking slightly with the force of her trembling.

When warm arms gently encircled her wrists, a strangled sob made its way out of her throat and she opened her eyes to find Eliot looking steadily at her. No pity, some concern? For her? He didn’t try to approach her, or to move away. He just stayed where he was. What did he want?

“Parker, is it ok if I sit next to you?”

Oh. Permission.

Parker gave a shaky nod.

Eliot nodded back and moved slowly to sit beside her. The stairs weren’t particularly wide so it ended up with them squished between the wall and the railings, the sides of their bodies pressed together.

“Do you want to talk? Or do you want me to talk? Or do you just want to sit here for a while?” Eliot asked, not pushing. He never pushed. None of them did.

“I don’t know …” Parker started, voice barely there. “I don’t know why I am - I -”

“It’s ok. Just breath. We can be here as long as you need.” Eliot said as he lightly tugged the plate out of her hands. She hadn’t even noticed her death grip on them. She let them go, vision still swimming. Eliot set the plate on the step below them and returned to her side. He held out a white piece of cloth to her, but when Parker just looked at him confused, he sighed and moved it to her face. He cupped her chin to keep her steady while he wiped off her tears. When had she started crying?

After he finished he went to remove his hand but Parker grasped it tightly and moved it to her cheek before leaning into him. She could feel his initial surprise by the sudden tension in his body but he relaxed when she just leaned into his chest, ear directly over his heart. Tentatively, he put his right arm over her back, bringing her closer. The two stayed that way for a long while, watching the sun slowly set in the distance as the lights were switched on throughout the city.

At one point, Parker grew heavier, and Eliot started to worry before he heard the faintest snores. A wave of warmth and pride hit him like a tsunami. He had known the two of them were growing closer, but for Parker to trust him enough to fall asleep around him? Eliot just gripped her tighter to him.

When the wind started to grow strong and the temperature dropped quickly, Eliot reluctantly roused Parker and guided her back inside. Neither of them said anything, Parker’s action had said more than she could with words.

Parker moved to take her usual chair, and wasn’t that unusual? She had an usual chair. She couldn’t remember the last time she had an usual anything. Eliot pulled out some dishes and set them on the countertop before turned to her.

“What do you want to eat?”

Parker shrugged.

“Try again Parker.”

“Why?” Parker asked, half curious, half frustrated about being constantly asked to choose.

Eliot looked at her for another minute before he sighed and moved towards her. She thought he was going to sit in the chair, but instead he sank to his knees in front of her, sitting on his toes.

“What had you upset on the fire escape?”

Parker looked away.

“Please look at me?” And that was unfair wasn’t it? Why did he keep being so nice. Why didn’t he ever get angry with her? Feeling too many things at once, Parker tried to get up, but Eliot blocked her. Not physically, he was sitting just far enough away that she would have to push him to leave. And she couldn’t make herself push him. Even though she had this gut feeling that if she pushed him, he would let her go.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Would you rather I was mean?”

“No, just-” Parker bit off, not knowing how to articulate her thoughts. “Why are you always asking me what to cook for dinner or how I am feeling, or to always pick something?”

“Why do you think I am?” Eliot said, face blank and unreadable.

“Eliot!” Parker exclaimed, feeling frustrated.

“When I first started doing this, I made a few rules for myself. And along the way, I broke every single one of them. And forgot who I was. It took me a while to remember who I was, but when I did, I realized I could never be that person anymore because I wasn’t a good person anymore,” Eliot said, looking her straight in the eye. “I have done awful things Parker, things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But there was a person once who died, and I lived because he died. If nothing else, some days I get up and live because he didn’t get a chance to. It is easy to be alone Parker. No one to answer to, no one to look out for, no one to feel anything about. But that isn’t living. That is surviving. And I was tired. This team, I think that we are all idiots, and if Nate doesn’t quit drinking, will get either himself or us killed. But it is also the first time in far too long since I felt like I was doing something that mattered. Something good. I have too much red in my ledger, and I will never be able to clean it, but doing this, it feels like a start.”

Parker took in his speech, and she was slightly glassy-eyed, but at least less like she was on the verge of tears. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” he urged.

“I don’t know.”

“You sure about that?” Eliot hadn’t wanted to press her, but at this point he couldn’t ignore it either.

“What? Yes, I know that I am scared but don’t know why.” Parker said, confused and slightly annoyed.

“Let me ask you again then. Why were you crying outside?” Eliot said, shifting so he was sitting cross-legged. To his surprise, Parker pushed away from the chair and rather than leaving as he was half-expecting her to, she sank to mimic his position.

“I am not used to this.” Parker started before stopping. She was biting her lip, and tense as a coiled spring ready to bolt. Eliot just sat back and let her talk. “The other day, I just followed Nate’s plan.” She looked at him expectantly.

He kept his face carefully blank. “Ok? What is the problem there?”

“Eliot, I didn’t make a back up plan!”

Ah. Her issues were getting clearer.

“You don’t need one.”

“But that’s the problem, of course I do. What happens when I get stuck alone and -”

“Parker look at me.” Eliot said, cutting her off before she worked herself up again. When he had her attention, he slowly moved so she could track his movements and placed both his hands on his knees, palms up. Slowly, as if scared to make the wrong move, Parker placed her own hands in his.

“I am not going to speak for the others, just for myself ok, though I have a very strong gut feeling that they feel the same way. If we ever had a plan go wrong and you got stuck alone, I will come to rescue you. I will never abandon you like that ok.” Eliot said, with such conviction, Parker felt rattled to her bones. She may not have known Eliot for very long, but she knew that he meant every single word he had told her. “I know that asking for your trust may be a lot -”

“I do.”

Eliot stopped, her words a genuine shock. He had not expected her to admit that. To herself or to him.

“You do what?” He had to be sure that she was sure.

“I do trust you. And I am scared Eliot. Because what happens when this stops? When the team is done, and we go back to working alone? I can’t… it took me time to figure out how to work alone and I finally have it but now I am supposed to work in a team and I am starting to like it and what happens when we are done? And I can’t be a good thief by myself anymore? I can’t be normal, Eliot, thieving is who I am!” Parker said, finishing quietly, as she pulled her knees up and hugged them, leaning against the chair for support.

“Parker… first of all, whether or not we continue working as a team, you are the best thief in the world, and that is not by accident ok. You earned that title, and working in a team is not going to weaken you. Secondly, do you remember the con a few weeks ago where you managed to talk the CEO into giving you the passcode to the safe?”

“I didn’t even stab him.” Parker remembered with a small smile.

“You didn’t even stab him.” He agreed, voice full of mirth as he let out a small chuckle. “You were a grifter. Even if we stop working as a team, our time together doesn’t go away. I have confidence you will pick up abilities from the rest of us and become truly unstoppable. But most importantly, Parker, you can do anything you want. You are so smart, and resourceful. Trust me, normal is overrated, and no one is really normal. Everyone has something they are hiding that others would judge them for. You are so much more than just a thief."

Parker seemed to mull over his words, and he let her. “You really think so?”

Eliot smiled. “Yes.”

Parker smiled back, and she weakly punched him on the shoulder as she gave a watery chuckle. “I want tacos.”

Eliot laughed. “Tacos it is. Want to help me?”

Parker nodded, still smiling. Eliot grinned and got to his feet, offering a hand to help her up as well. “Go wash your face and come, I’ll get the ingredients out.”

“Okay” Parker replied before heading to his washroom.

Watching her go, Eliot smiled, happy that they had had this conversation. This team of idiots may be the death of him, but he could honestly think of worst people to die because of. So all in all, he had a feeling maybe this team could make it in the long term.

At least, no one was going to die while he was watching their backs.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat about leverage, find me at fangirlshrewt97@tumblr.com!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
